Zachary

The band

The other band

Cooking stuff (temporarily inactive...)

 
*shudder*

Just like that Jetson's episode when all the robots in the town band together to sabotage George's day, the security gates at department stores are out to get me.

Ok, not really. Unlike George, it's been my own (naive) fault and not the result of pissing off Rosie the robot maid. For a good month, it seemed something snuck into my purse that set off the alarms at the stores. One time it was a CD case that still had an "active" security strip inside. I started having nervous breakdowns going in and out of Wal-Mart, getting stopped and wondering why I was setting the alarm. It doesn't help that Wal-Mart intentionally sets off the alarm so they can check your receipt when you buy a $20 watch (oh yeah, high ticket item...). Needless to say I was starting to have nightmares. I had issues getting in and out of Macy's as well. For a few good weeks, I had a serious anxiety. Let's just say the Christmas shopping season was tainted.

Just when I thought I was recovered... I walked into Macy's yesterday and set off the alarm. "What!", I thought. "What the hell am I carrying!" Hmmm. Nothing in the purse. Double what the hell. Somehow I figured out I had left the security tag on my pants. Anne Taylor (Loft) sews in security tags and you're supposed to cut them out when you get home. Well, I was lazy. If I knew it would come back to haunt me, I would have cut it out for sure!

No scissors on me, no pocket knife or switchblade. I was stuck. I went ahead and did my shopping, all the while knowing I had to get out of the store. As I went downstairs and meandered through the shoe department, my stomach was starting to knot up. There was the entrance to the mall and somehow I had to make a run for it. Now in the make-up section, eyeing my escape route, I watched a woman head out to the mall and set off the alarm. Looking confused, she headed back towards the counter to get her bag checked.

As she turned to leave again, I found myself doing something a bit unbelievable. If it hadn't felt so damn clever, my sense decency would have kicked in. I hurriedly walked out on her heals and, yes, I triggered the alarm. She turned back and looked at me, but I simply kept on walking. Bewildered, she turned around again to get her bag checked, and I made my clever escape.

I may be going to hell.
posted by hbt at 7:11 PM